


Where Love Should've Been

by Skullszeyes



Series: Eating The Dead [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Apologies, Bad Parenting, Bonding, Brother-Sister Relationships, Crying, Depression, Drug Withdrawal, Fluff, Gen, Hearing Voices, Humor, Love, My First Work in This Fandom, POV Third Person Limited, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Post-Canon, Protective Older Brothers, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Sibling Bonding, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 06:32:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullszeyes/pseuds/Skullszeyes
Summary: Klaus still suffers from drug withdrawal, but he's also trying to figure out how to bond with his siblings, and be with them more.





	Where Love Should've Been

**Author's Note:**

> I spoiled the ending for myself for The Umbrella Academy, which I didn't intend to watch afterwards. But my brother said I would like Klaus, and my sister begged me to watch it. So my mom, my sister, and I watched it. And I have so many similarities with Klaus, it's uncanny. My mom and sister kept laughing whenever Klaus would do something or say something that would relate to me. It was so obvious how weirdly similar we are. Because of this, I liked Klaus, but I also enjoy Ben, Vanya, Deigo, and Allison. :D
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

Klaus breathed out a groan, brows furrowed with tight closed eyes as a shaky hand fell hard on the side of his face, wiping away sweat. Biting down on his lip, Klaus attempted to move onto his side on the small couch. All he could feel was the overheated room making his already aching body feel more tense. His throat was dry and he was weak, oh how terribly weak he felt as he tried his best to push himself up into a sitting position.

“Ben,” he groaned, gasping for air before finally sitting up, grasping the side of the couch to keep himself leveled.

“You know I can’t do anything,” Ben said, standing to the side of him, frowning at his brother.

“I know,” Klaus said, nodding and breathing heavily, “I know, I just thought maybe…”

“Ask the others when those thoughts come to you,” Ben advised, sitting down beside Klaus. “I can’t do anything…”

_To help you._

Klaus knows it’s an ugly feeling, because sometimes that’s how he feels about the others in his family. They know they couldn’t help him growing up, and that as they grew older, they started to lose hope in him. When they finally gave up, all Klaus had to do was laugh to himself in his bedroom with all that pain inside his chest before swallowing some pills, or snorting those silly little white lines.

It was all he could do to rid those ugly awful feelings from him, and he didn’t have to silently cry into his pillow. Or hate himself more for what he did, and for why he did it.

Those voices, those people in the corner of his eye, his heart would beat way too fast when he saw them, when they spoke his name in rapid succession, and none of his siblings would understand. Sometimes he would end up talking to them, listening to their voices, hoping that they’d eventually tell him something useful but it was all jabbering nonsense.

 _“_ Shut up, shut up, shut up,” Klaus murmured, getting up from the couch and staggering towards the bar where he reached for a bottle of father’s whiskey, not like the old man would care if he’d take it, and poured himself a glass, including one for Ben who sat beside him on the stool. “They never do shut up.” He chuckles, picking up the glass and taking a quick swig, letting the burn overwhelm him before he shook his head, and heard the slightest sound of something or someone sitting on his other side.

“Little Five,” Klaus said, setting the glass down and glancing at Five who was reaching for the alcohol and poured himself his own glass.

“Don’t condescend me,” Five told him, not looking at Klaus or at the untouched glass beside him. “Diego told me you were trying to sober up, what’s that about?”

“You know,” Klaus said, his mouth numb as he took another sip, much slower than before.

“Sure, I do.” Five placed the glass to his lips, and Klaus remembered when he first tasted the raw burn of alcohol touching his entire mouth, he hated it, almost spitting it out but going back for more. He needed more, he needed the slightest pain to make him feel better. Hating himself was too easy, making others hate him left a lasting mark and even as an adult, they didn’t see him correctly. It was fine. He grew used to it.

“I can connect to them better,” Klaus said, going back to drinking and ignoring Ben who was trying his best to pick up the glass.

“Now you’re taking dear old father’s teachings into account?” Five asked, scoffing as he set the glass down. “I guess Vanya is doing the same, even how much it hurt her over the years.”

“Your read her novel too?” Klaus said, not surprised, they were all inevitably going to read it.

“Reading it isn’t the problem,” Five told him, regarding Klaus with a simple look, like he was looking at Klaus and knew him, unlike when they were kids and they were doing nothing more than figuring out what they could do while their father belittled them, forcing them to comply to the wishes he hoped to convey, yet missed the mark completely. “It’s how she felt towards us during that time.”

“We’re not like that now,” Klaus said, looking down at his glass, “we’re doing better than we were before…everything takes time.”

Five smiled. “You know, you might be a lot wiser than the others take you for.”

Klaus returned the smile. “And I’m glad you returned to us, besides the circumstances.”

Five nodded, he drank the rest of his whiskey and left Klaus to look down at his glass, to think over the conversation, and mostly to leave him to what he was going to do next. Which was to drink until he felt better, and that might not be the greatest answer to what they were talking about, but he was right. Everything takes time.

An hour later, Ben was looking down at Klaus who was lying on the floor, smiling up at him.

“Are you done?”

“Not exactly,” Klaus replied.

“Are...you okay?”

Klaus and Ben looked toward the entrance of the room and found Vanya staring at him peculiarly. She always held a nervous edge to her, as if she wasn’t meant to be there, in other people’s presence yet tried her best. All those years with father’s extreme indoctrination. They were all trying to be rid of it, even how shaky and sick it felt.

“I’m doing fine,” he said, turning on his side, and smiling at her, “my darling sister.”

Vanya frowned and meandered over to him, helping Klaus to his feet. “You drank two bottles.”

“More than two bottles,” Klaus leaned against her, “I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Vanya said, giving him a small smile before helping him toward the couch. “Do you need...something? You’re warm.” She pressed her hand against his forehead, and Klaus closed his eyes at her touch, his insides ached with that familiar pain he tried to drown.

“I’m fine,” Klaus said, reaching up and taking her hand, and he opened his eyes and look into hers, “I’m fine, Vanya.”

She nodded. “Are you okay?”

Klaus gritted his teeth, breathing deeply at that same harsh pain, and he nodded to her. “I’m fine, I think I need…” and he leaned against her, and she held him, and he closed his eyes at the smell of her hair, feeling that same old feeling ease away.

“You can say it,” Ben whispered.

Klaus bit back the whimper, and he tightened his hold on her. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s dad’s alcohol,” she said, a smile in her words, “it’s fine, I’m sure he expected us to drink after he died.”

“No,” he wrapped his arms around her, “I’m so sorry, Vanya.”

And it seemed to have clicked in what he meant to say to her, and she held him as much as he held her. This lasted long, and he whispered to it to her a few times until they pulled away and her eyes were red, and he wiped away his own tears.

“Thank you,” she told him, and she rose from the couch and left.

Klaus leaned against the couch, letting out a deep sigh. “I think I need another drink.” He eased himself off the couch and staggered back towards the bar, it was around that moment when Diego joined him and sat down.

“Why are you always drinking?” Diego asked, arching a brow at him.

“Don’t judge me,” Klaus told him, taking Ben’s glass he wasn’t going to drink.

“Why do you look like that?”

“Like I said, don’t judge me,” Klaus downed the glass and set it down.

Diego raised both brows and smiled. “I didn’t mean it like that, I meant...you look like you’ve been crying.”

“It happens,” Klaus says, pouring another glass and ignoring Ben’s furrowed brows.

Diego shook his head. “Fine, don’t tell me. What are you doing today?”

Klaus raised the glass.

“Besides drinking, you have to do something else.”

“Get Five to come with us bowling again, and I’ll think about leaving the house.” Klaus grinned at Ben who was shaking his head.

“He didn’t play that time.”

Klaus shrugged, “Then I guess I’m staying home.”

Diego rolled his eyes. “I’ll get Vanya and Allison to come with us.”

“And _Number One_?” Klaus mocked, turning around. Diego waved his hand and left the room.

“You know, he can be persuasive,” Ben said.

Klaus nodded, drinking the rest of the alcohol in his glass. “Maybe it is a good day to go out.” He set the glass down and staggered out of the room, Ben beside him, hands out as if ready to catch Klaus if he’s about to fall, and Klaus calling his siblings names.

He needed to fill that hole, ease that pain, and make something else out of it instead of the same old thing that grew in its place where love should’ve been.

**Author's Note:**

> I can sympathize with Klaus a lot because of our similarities. I'm not a drug addict, I've done drugs, mostly weed, rails, and slide, but that's about it. Also, some prescription drugs. But the thing that I do understand is Klaus's issue with hearing and seeing dead people. I don't have that, but I have severe psychosis, so I do see things and hear voices. And I understand why he does the things he does, you know. Haha.
> 
> Like when he was telling them to shut up, I understood that, because voices are fucking annoying and some people don't get that It's really annoying when you can't control something, so Klaus taking drugs to stop hearing and seeing them makes sense to me. Although his powers are unlike my mental disorder since he can control his, while mine can simply be treated with pills (that don't do shit, I've been on various medications over the years since I was young, and now I'm simply living with it, but whatever, right.) 
> 
> I hoped you enjoyed. I'll be writing more of Klaus and the other Hargreeves siblings. 
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.


End file.
